Adriano De Luca,
How he took his leave: after the birth of his second daughter, he stayed home for six months. Afterwards, he started working fewer hours.
Photo: Célia Hueck
Usually, the mother stays home with the children, and the father only gets there in the evening, saying that he is tired because he worked all day - as if the mother hadn't worked. I also said that when my first child was born seven years ago. Having this domestic experience was important in this sense. The most difficult and challenging thing I've ever done in my life was to stay at home doing household chores and taking care of two children.
For me, I had no choice but to take the time to stay home. We wanted to give ourselves to this moment, so that there would be no outsiders, no grandparents, no nannies, no one. We wanted to do everything we could, because we thought it made sense to go
Being a father was what allowed me to have the biggest discoveries of my life, which was looking into myself. It showed me that I had to take care of myself, which is something that men don't usually do. I suddenly saw myself as a father, a man, a sexist person, a homophobe, everything.
Raising children is a learning experience. Now it’s so much more than calling myself a “feminist”. Feeling the household chores on my skin, something we usually throw at women, has increased my empathy to new levels.
"I've had crises about all my roles. As a husband, man, father, professional,
friend. It's a real deconstruction. But you have to literally destroy yourself to rebuild yourself –and that's very painful."