How he took his leave: he is a freelancer and turned down work for 3 months when his son was born. He is still at home sharing care work and professional responsibilities with his partner.
Photo courtsey of Caio Franco
I wasn't one of those parents who had a lot of intimacy with the baby during the pregnancy. It wasn’t tangible for me, you can't feel the baby, he's inside the woman. And when he was born, the connection wasn’t immediate either. A newborn baby, you know, doesn't do much. It took me a long time to have a strong relationship with him. And I think I only got there because I stayed home longer.
I was the first of my friends to have a child. In my opinion, I was very young. I had so much to do at work at that time. And the pregnancy meant a pause in everything. Then, when our son was born, I saw that it wasn't such a big deal, it wasn't all this drama that I was expecting. So I calmed down.
I really like waking up with him. It's obviously hard to wake up when you're still tired. But I'm the one who usually gets out of bed with him. Then I water the plants, and he loves it. It is so nice to see the look on his face.
When the baby cries - and of course it's not his fault - I feel very stressed. I'd be like, "why again?" I wanted to understand what was going on. Then, out of nowhere, he'd give me a big smile and I'd be like, "Now what?" I am now in the process of thinking about myself and understanding how this all is affecting me. I involves a lot of self-knowledge.
"The biggest issue has been going back to work, because I'm still very much at home. It's still hard to reconcile. When I'm at home, it feels like I'm not working. It's all very mixed up, there's no separate time, it's all very of confusing."