Igor Paulin,
33, consultant
How he took his leave: he prioritized work that could be done remotely and avoided travelling. He has been at home since his daughter was born.
Photo courtesy of Igor Paulin
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On the first week, a friend told me, "You should demand bath time”. I found the word "demand" so strong, because we had always shared things at home. But in the end it was important to use it. It showed that I also wanted to have moments with my daughter.
The first few days were the hardest for us as a couple. I wanted to do everything, all the time, the way I thought was right, and ended up leaving the path of cooperation and went to competition, a strange place for me.
I started feeling a mixture of anguish, anxiety and fear for the future. The cause is financial. I look at my bank account and think about all the bills that we have now and all that we will have (daycare, health insurance, vaccines, private pediatricians, toys, clothes etc.) and I get scared. I also suddenly became afraid of dying, something completely new for me. Before her, I always considered myself immortal.
All parents talk about the birth, about how amazing that day is. It really was a phenomenal day. But the truth is, everyday life is the coolest thing of all. My love for my daughter today is bigger than it was the day she was born. Love is also something you build.
"I felt a complete numbness. During the first days of my daughter's life, if someone cursed
me in the middle of traffic, I would wave back and send them flowers. It felt like I was doped up."